So glad you're enjoying the posts-- really appreciate the positive feedback. And yes, I totally agree-- there's something incredibly reassuring about an "old man's bar", especially as one gets older. That's a fantastic story you shared-- the picture of all that non-verbal communication is just classic small-town Italy. Maybe you and I will wind up in the same old man's bar someday!
There is an "old man's bar" in the village where we have an apartment in Tuscany. I was in there over the summer and watched about five or six of the regulars come in and sit in various places around the bar. At no point did they acknowledge one another or even look up from their tables to see who had walked in. After about 20 minutes, seemingly without a signal, they all stood up at once and made their way to the table in the corner, took their places and silently began playing cards. As I sat there smiling, I made a resolution that where ever life took me in the future, I would end up in a card school like this.
Thanks very much for these posts. I'm catching up with a coffee everyday whilst waiting for spring and the Italy trips to come around again.
Yes-- it's interesting that the "old man's bar" is rarely the most attractive, or even the one with the best coffee, cocktails or pastries. It's clearly not about that. As you say, it's about loyalty, belonging, and tradition. It's definitely a very Italian sensibility. Thanks so much for the insightful comment!
Fantastic story! It’s funny how so many stars that now seem iconic to New York City often built much of their early career in places like Newburgh, the Catskills, Asbury Park, etc. Thinking of people like Tony Bennett, Jackie Mason, etc. Probably was wise though to leave the dollar. Could have been a rough summer if someone found out! Thanks for sharing an amazing memory.
This is definitely one of the reasons why I love Italy so much: “Spend much time in Italy and sooner or later you’ll wander into a random spot for a coffee, only to realize you’ve encroached on what feels like a private club. You’ve entered what my wife and I have deemed “the old man’s bar”. There’s definitely something about these places that perhaps have something to do with loyalty in the sense that these men just won’t ever try anything else but these bars—even if it’s going downhill. It’s an underrated issue I think.
Re Tony Bennett -- In my late teens. (1950's) I had a summer job as a waiter at a summer resort near Newburgh NY called Meadowbrook Lodge. This place was almost exclusively for Italian Americans who would stay for a week or two or sometimes more. The Lodge was run by the Cavalari Family, father Al was the head chef, and his sons Frank and Al did the rest. They were incredibly hard workers, and the place featured music on weekends in the lounge. Frank Cavalari claimed to be personal friends with Tony Bennett, who at that time was quasi-famous but well known among I-AMs. TB would on occasion sing in the lounge . I never saw him. I only remember cleaning up the lounge one morning after his appearance, and what a mess it was after what was clearly a big night. I remember a dollar bill on the bar. a tip forgotten by the bartender - and after some catholic examination of my conscience, I left it there. So that's my memory of Tony Bennett exccept that we're both from Queeens.
So glad you're enjoying the posts-- really appreciate the positive feedback. And yes, I totally agree-- there's something incredibly reassuring about an "old man's bar", especially as one gets older. That's a fantastic story you shared-- the picture of all that non-verbal communication is just classic small-town Italy. Maybe you and I will wind up in the same old man's bar someday!
I'll bring the cards. :)
There is an "old man's bar" in the village where we have an apartment in Tuscany. I was in there over the summer and watched about five or six of the regulars come in and sit in various places around the bar. At no point did they acknowledge one another or even look up from their tables to see who had walked in. After about 20 minutes, seemingly without a signal, they all stood up at once and made their way to the table in the corner, took their places and silently began playing cards. As I sat there smiling, I made a resolution that where ever life took me in the future, I would end up in a card school like this.
Thanks very much for these posts. I'm catching up with a coffee everyday whilst waiting for spring and the Italy trips to come around again.
Yes-- it's interesting that the "old man's bar" is rarely the most attractive, or even the one with the best coffee, cocktails or pastries. It's clearly not about that. As you say, it's about loyalty, belonging, and tradition. It's definitely a very Italian sensibility. Thanks so much for the insightful comment!
Fantastic story! It’s funny how so many stars that now seem iconic to New York City often built much of their early career in places like Newburgh, the Catskills, Asbury Park, etc. Thinking of people like Tony Bennett, Jackie Mason, etc. Probably was wise though to leave the dollar. Could have been a rough summer if someone found out! Thanks for sharing an amazing memory.
This is definitely one of the reasons why I love Italy so much: “Spend much time in Italy and sooner or later you’ll wander into a random spot for a coffee, only to realize you’ve encroached on what feels like a private club. You’ve entered what my wife and I have deemed “the old man’s bar”. There’s definitely something about these places that perhaps have something to do with loyalty in the sense that these men just won’t ever try anything else but these bars—even if it’s going downhill. It’s an underrated issue I think.
Re Tony Bennett -- In my late teens. (1950's) I had a summer job as a waiter at a summer resort near Newburgh NY called Meadowbrook Lodge. This place was almost exclusively for Italian Americans who would stay for a week or two or sometimes more. The Lodge was run by the Cavalari Family, father Al was the head chef, and his sons Frank and Al did the rest. They were incredibly hard workers, and the place featured music on weekends in the lounge. Frank Cavalari claimed to be personal friends with Tony Bennett, who at that time was quasi-famous but well known among I-AMs. TB would on occasion sing in the lounge . I never saw him. I only remember cleaning up the lounge one morning after his appearance, and what a mess it was after what was clearly a big night. I remember a dollar bill on the bar. a tip forgotten by the bartender - and after some catholic examination of my conscience, I left it there. So that's my memory of Tony Bennett exccept that we're both from Queeens.
Another good one, Eric...